Don’t Make Me Over

By Ora Cook

I am not a fan of love stories. They often are superficial and so far removed from reality. Yet one recent weekend, I somehow got caught up in watching The Prince and Me.

This movie is about a Denmark prince, Eddie, who comes to America for the sole purpose of meeting women. He meets Paige Morgan and after a series of awkward encounters, they fall in love. The Prince returns to Denmark to take over the throne and Paige follows. The rest of the movie is about Eddie and Paige preparing to marry and becoming the new king and queen.

The movie is fictional, however, it touched on two major mistakes people, especially women, tend to make in relationships and life.

Mistake #1. Compromising or relinquishing who you are to be accepted.

Eddie\’s mother completely disapproves of Paige and tried to discourage Eddie from marrying her. When that doesn’t work, she tries to change Paige into what she deems was \”suitable queen material.\”

Women are especially susceptible to allowing others to change them. We do it to attract men, to maintain relationships, to be accepted, and to keep the peace. But becoming someone else robs us of who we truly are. God designed each of us in His image and our focus should be on growing and blooming into that person.

Never let anyone break your spirit. Guard against allowing others to alter you into their perfect image.

One of the dangers of compromise is once people realize how desperate you are for approval, they will continue to mold you until the original \”you\” is completely gone. Becoming who they want is not going to gain you their respect or seal of approval.

Mistake #2. Giving up on or losing sight of your purpose, vision, and goals.

There is a scene in the movie where the Prince is called into a meeting. Paige is in the adjoining room, which allows her to overhear the conversation. When the butler realizes she’s listening, he closes the door. Why is she denied access? Is it because she is female? Is it because she’s not from royal lineage? Do they feel she’s not intelligent enough to understand what’s being discussed?

Whatever the reason, the closed door is a wakeup call for Paige. She realizes she’s been caught up in a fairy tale life. In this moment she remembers her purpose, vision, and goals and she knows she is not willing to relinquish them for love or even for being queen.

Each one of us has or will experience a wakeup call. Depending on where you are in life, you may not be able to make such a sharp turn around as Paige did. She called off the marriage and returned to medical school. But there are things each of us can do recover our purpose, even if it happens in baby steps and takes years to complete.

Believe me, I am all for love. But, true love is not one-sided, nor does it expect or require the same person to constantly compromise so much of him/herself. I just want to remind you of what Dionne Warwick said to the baby boomers and Sybil to the millennials which should help to keep you grounded—\”Don\’t Make Me Over.”