Mother’s Day: It Can Be A Painful Memory Or A Joyous Celebration

It’s a well-known fact that depression and feelings of isolation increase around Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year. I would like to add another occasion to that list– Mother’s Day.

Mothers should have a day of recognition because it entitles them to be honored for their unconditional love, support and commitment to their families.

However, there are situations which makes it hard for some women to celebrate this day.

Death of a child

The worst thing that can happen to a parent, especially a mother, is to lose a child. Even if the mother has other children, they cannot replace the one she lost.

And, it’s not something you can “get over” as some insensitive people seem to think.

Death can create a wound which may never heal. But with God’s help and time, it becomes more bearable moment by moment.

Yet occasions such as Mother’s Day can awaken those painful memories and remind a mother of that void.

Estranged relationships

Contrary to the images populated by the media, all mother-child relationships are not tight bonds of joy.

When a loving relationship does not exist between a mother and her child, it can be painful. Often the mother is heartbroken and bewildered and is probably blames herself for whatever went wrong.

Can you image hearing Happy Mother’s Day from everyone except the one who made the day possible, your child?

On the other side of the coin, there are those mothers who have emotionally, mentally, or physically separated themselves from their children. Those situations usually result in the children feeling unloved and unwanted.

Somehow every child senses their parents should love them. When it doesn’t happen, it can scar the child.

Again, this is a scar that only God can heal.

Instead of good loving memories, this day might remind them of the lack of love they endured while growing up.

 

Infertility

When my daughter, Cassandra, was an infant we went to visit a friend. Getting to my friend’s apartment required an elevator ride. Within seconds of stepping into the crowded elevator, Cassandra lets out a loud ear jerking cry which continued for the duration of the ride.

My discomfort with the situation must have been clear because a lady eased up to me and said, “That’s music to my ears.” I’m assuming my expression must have spoken volumes because she explained “I have been trying to conceive for years and would give anything to have a baby. The crying wouldn’t bother me at all.”

That brief encounter changed my life forever. Her pain made me realize how blessed I was.

Since that encounter, I’ve met a few women who desired to conceive but could not. They have found other ways to cope. Some adopted. Others used in vitro fertilization (IVF). Then there are those who accepted life without children.

Acknowledging Mother’s Day

As we celebrate the mothers in our lives, remember Mother’s Day may represent mixed emotions for many women.

When wishing the women in your life Happy Mother’s Day, don’t give the usual half-conscious, rushed salutation. Instead, try to understand what the day signifies to them. Be ready to offer support, encouragement, or your shoulder if needed.

To all woman for whom this day holds a special place in your heart, I wish each of you a whole-hearted and blessed Mother’s Day.