Negative Self Talk

By Ora Cook

What is self-talk? It is the flood of thoughts and conversations that constantly flows through our minds. It occurs day in and day out. It happens consciously and unconsciously. When self-talk is positive, that is a wonderful thing.

However, for most people, it is usually negative. Many of us are guilty of being our worst critic. We belittle ourselves more than our worst enemy and it happens in the worst place–our minds.

The danger with negative self-talk is that it affects our thoughts, which eventually affects our behavior. When we constantly think negatively, we will find ourselves unconsciously giving life to those thoughts. For example, if my self-talk is people do not like me, I will unconsciously make it happen. My behavior or body language can cause people to not want to connect with me. It might be something so simple as my facial expressions which prevents others from wanting to befriend me.

Overcoming negative self-talk takes courage. It requires standing up to the bully inside our head. And, as we know, confronting a bully is not an easy feat.

For the most part, negative thoughts are a result of the mental and emotional situations and circumstances that we have encountered or experienced. It also includes the abuse we’ve brought on ourselves by playing the comparison game.

As with any bully, one of the most effective ways to stop him or her is by confronting them head on. If you have ever been a victim of bullying, you know this is not an any task. Honestly, it is quite frightening.

Yet, this is what needs to be done to those belittling thoughts. We have to fight them head on. They are sneaky little demons.

How do we fight back? One technique is by using affirmations.

Affirmations are positive statements that you say to yourself or as the Christian community says they are what you “speak over yourself.” The purpose is to drown out the negative belief and develop a healthy positive mindset.

Affirmations can be used for anything–for situations you want to change or improve or as the Bible says, “to speak those things that are not as though they are.”

The powerful thing about an affirmation is that you don’t have to believe it when you begin saying it. The miracle with an affirmation is that by consistently saying it to yourself, your conscious mind will eventually cause you to believe it.

Positive statements can be applied to every area of your life, any area where you are battle negative thoughts — your marriage, self-image, career, children, confidence. Anything you want to mentally and emotionally change from the positive to the negative.

Affirmations can as simple as “I am a friendly out going person and I attract good people into my life.” It can be a Scripture such as “I am wonderfully and marvelously made.” It just needs to speak to your situation.

You can silently say them to yourself. But the best method is to say it out loud so your mind can hear it, and begin to accept and apply it.

What do you say to yourself? Is it positive or negative? If your thoughts are not what you want them to be, if they are not producing what you want in life, you can rectify that situation. You do not have to be held hostage by negative thoughts. You have the power to overcome them.

Here are a few affirmations to get you started.

Self-image:
 I am wonderfully and marvelously made
 I can do all things through Christ who strengths me
 I am a confident stylish dresser
 I am intelligent, wise, and full of understanding

Family:
 My husband loves and appreciates me
 We are a loving and close-knit family
 Our children love and respect their parents
 My husband finds me sexually attractive and I fulfill all of his needs

Financial Success:
 I am free from debt
 I make wise financial decisions
 I am prosperous
 I earn enough to fulfill my needs
 I am grateful for everything I have

Spiritual:
 I am God’s child and He is my Father
 Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil
 I am righteous and holy
 No weapon formed against me will prosper